My Mom, I Pray.

I’m not sure if knowing when a loved one is going to die sooner than presumed is a blessing or a curse. We seem to have this presumption that we will all live to grow old and die peacefully in our sleep.  It’s a given that your parents will reach their golden years, enjoy their grand children and even possibly treasured years with great grandchildren.  So when I learnt that it is my mom that will not reach these years and see my children grow up long enough to finish their school years and maybe, just maybe even marry – this news to me felt like someone stuck their hand in my chest and ripped out my heart. I can’t imagine my life without my mom. My mother has been so much more than a mom in being a single parent. It’s far more reaching knowing what I know especially since my mom is also the last remaining adult left in my life. All these amazing family members that I grew up with, who guided me and moulded me – have since died. How so in the last ten years. It’s so surreal to me. My aunties, my uncles, my grandparents, my great gran, they are all gone.

Now, in time – my mom. To make this even harder, she immigrated. Her health deteriorated to the point one of us had to look after her. That someone is my little brother. We have such a tight bond and skype as often as possible. It’s not the same but it’s comforting and better than nothing. Video skype enables my mom to see her grandchildren and maintain the bond she has with them. I still can’t wait for her to be able to travel and come home and meet her newest grandson. I get angry at times that she is in the northern hemisphere while we are down here in SA. I know she is better off and needs to be where she is but it leaves me feeling so robbed of time, very precious time and events. I haven’t seen her now for 2 years, I always think in the back of my head – Christmas, Easter, Mothers Day, Birthdays etc . . .  is this the last! I’m always hoping and praying for the next.

Not seeing her with all her medicines, pumps, oxygen machines and not having to witness a ‘shut down’  etc, at times makes me forget – just forget that there is a time limit. For now, I treasure every moment I can with her, taking it all in. It’s the most difficult conversation to ever have with your parent – their dying wishes. I know she was being subtle before she immigrated in finalising a few things. I chose to act ignorant because I didn’t and still don’t want to accept and acknowledge fully the ‘issue’ at hand.

I never knew what COPD was or that it even existed until it hit home. Advanced stages already they say. I will always pray for a miracle and everyday is just that.

Hug your mom today and appreciate any family you have, for you are blessed.

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When One Is Out-Numbered.

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My boys, how blessed am I.

Being a proud mother raising three gorgeous sons and one very funny, young at heart husband, I guess it’s safe to say I am by far … out numbered. As my hubby puts it – There is after-all only space for one princess in this house. However being the only princess does have it’s downfalls.

I chuckle almost daily as I dash through the mornings household chores which occasionally reveal just how much of a ‘boys’ home our house actually is.  I find myself thinking out aloud as I note the things guys just don’t do.  Here is a short list of the most common of these giveaways.

  • Empty water jug in the fridge – I mean, when you have used the last of the water, what possesses these mars creatures to simply slip it back in the fridge door EMPTY. 
  • Loo paper – we have all had the ‘Mommmmmm, please bring me some toilet paper’ call. Why when you finished the roll did you not replace it? It’s unheard of that a mars creature actually carry out such a task. 
  • The empty water jug rings true of the milk carton too. How an empty carton can’t make it to the bin all of 3 steps to the side still baffles me. I’ve learnt not to be presumptuous when it comes to sight.
  • The grocery cupboard is no different with empty cereal boxes and the likes.
  • Yes, that black stuff on the kitchen towel is grease. Working on their bicycles or helping dad in the garage always leaves a fingerprint trail.
  • There is no such thing as a lid. Not on the toothpaste, jam jar or butter. Frankly if it’s not a flip top – it gets lost, dropped or forgotten.
  • What do you mean eat over a plate? ‘but mom, it means less dishes in the wash up’
  • No matter how many lessons on how to load or unpack the dishwasher – everyone seems to have amnesia the next day.
  • When there is a new bottle of sauce, regardless of how much is left of the unfinished bottle – it’s old now and ‘finished’ The only way around this is to either hide the new bottle or wait until the existing bottle is completely finished before the replacement makes it’s way on the shopping list. This is especially true of tomato sauce & mayonnaise.

This list for any mom with sons could go on and on but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I treasure these days for I know they will pass and faster than I care to take the time to admit. Knowing that there is always something to wake up to – everyday is a new day, so use the blessings of time to create new memories and strengthen family bonds.

Happy Belated Mothers Day to all the wonderful mothers of the world. I never really did grasp the term ‘A mothers job is never done’ until I became a mother myself. 

Hugs

SunshineMac