Celebrate, It’s Your Birthday!

Yesterday my hubby came full circle to add yet another candle to his cake which is fast running out of space. I think number candles will do for next years cake.

I’m not sure how as a child my husband celebrated birthdays as in his adult years, he seems to dread the day and the build up to it. I’ve learnt over the years that even though he says there are to be no presents or cake, he actually really wants to be spoilt. Who doesn’t! One year – I left his birthday, didn’t arrange anything as per his request. Geewizz, to this day he has not let me forget. I have learnt from that that regardless of his huffs and puffs, I always make his day a special one and he is clearly appreciative of it. My mother tells me it’s a ‘man’ thing. No mom, I know my husbands love languages. Having said that – upon his arrival home to a tribe of excited children, we spoilt him with his long awaited mountain bike, espresso machine and yummy chocolate cake before dinner! The evening routine was whacked but worth it.

So a the big 36 arrived yesterday. Where have the years gone! They seem to fly faster as we age more. We seem to appreciate life more and more as we realise just how short, fast and fragile life really is. We no longer take the simple things like health and time foregranted either.

I raise my glass in celebration of a fantastic husband and father, who has held my hand, although at times a little tighter, as we walk through this journey we share. As I put it to friends – we have good months and bad days but love covers all our sins.  Here’s to many blessed, wild and happy years ahead. Happy Birthday my McDreamy, you rock my world.

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When Tragedy Strikes

I have such a heavy heart today, I can’t begin to imagine the emotional rollercoaster my friend *Tammy must be going through. I blogged about her father who passed due to AIDS mid 2012.

Today when I gave her a call to catch up now that the Christmas season is over, Tammy tells me her Christmas was not good. Why? I ask. Her reply ‘my husband was murdered on thursday.’ I went cold – why? how? what on earth !!!

He was shot and killed due to a mugging. Words…  fail me. He was young, newly wed. Tammy is young and they have a little daughter. WHY ?? Why murder – take the goods but why then murder and destroy families and lives. 

Times like these, I can only offer my presence, my shoulder, my ears. Nothing I could possible say would take her hurt away.

God Bless my friend, I’m here for you – always.

 

Stupid? Or Was IT?

 

On Monday night we were expecting our pastor to come over for a meeting. So when my son called me from the yard saying there was a man at our door wanting to talk to me, I asked if the man was our pastor and if  so to let him in. I presumed it was our pastor and went over after my son replied, ‘don’t think it’s our pastor mom.’

There stood a homeless man who immediately started begging for food and clean clothes. I stood there trying to get his story out of him but he just cried. Heck this worked on my sympathy. I told him my husband wasn’t home (stupid mistake #1) but to wait on our patio for him (stupid mistake #2). Letting a stranger into my home without thinking was not only STUPID of me but could have been a dangerous one.

After I let him in, I realized what a mistake I made. I secretly sent my hubby a message to get home fast as I had done what I had and was now feeling rather vulnerable, very uneasy and frankly a little scared. Hubby raced home. In the mean time I had made this man a cuppa coffee. I started questioning him to understand why he was in the situation he was. He explained how he had been living the streets for 20 years and how his family dis-owned him. I asked what jobs he had done and what if any, his qualifications were. He wouldn’t tell me his age but did let out that he had been out of school for 20 years. Now the more he spoke the more I realized he was lying as he contradicted himself. He was thin, yellow eyes and fidgety. I asked him if he was HIV (something considered rude to ask, but I did) He said no. Something just didn’t add up. He couldn’t give me eye contact.

Hubby arrived and not a moment too soon, I had children to bath, dinner to cook and a guest to prepare for. Hubby was polite to this man but very unimpressed. His sob stories kept changing and our emotions were moving from sympathy to annoyed. After seeing to the children, hubby and I would swap roles. This man told me he had been to all the shelters over time but was ‘asked to leave’ eventually. He said how he had been to churches for help but even then he was asked to leave and so it went on. He said how he worked as a hairdresser, a banker and in sales but all occasions was eventually ‘asked to leave’. I realised at this point the man was a drug addict.

I offered him three potential jobs from Mondays paper. #1 There was a hairdresser position. #2 There was a telesales shift work position – he refused, saying – nah, I don’t want to do that. I was gob-smacked because he wasn’t really in a position to be picky or choosy. I realised then that he had no intention of actually really wanting help or to change his circumstances. I eventually told him just that. He didn’t like the lecture that was now to follow. My hubby was inside putting our children to bed, and I used this time to give this man a burning ear.

‘What is it you actually want from us? Why are you really here? Because if it’s money you want, it is money you will not get! You are clearly a druggie and your behaviour shows it. I will give you clean newish clothes, shoes, a warm blanket and a hot plate of food which I am very sure you will go sell the clothes tomorrow to buy your next fix. Catch a wake up if you really think I feel anything for you now. You have passed up 2 potential jobs I showed you and further rejected the suggestions of other options. Your were more than likely fired from your jobs for being unreliable, high or such. And probably asked to leave home cos you started stealing from home to support your habit and likewise with the charities you stayed at. Only you know the truth. Take what we have given you and please leave.

My husband agreed to take him to a local church for a nights accommodation but while driving there the man changed his mind. He tried to manipulate my husband for money and then to rather take him to the centre of Johannesburg CBD !! My husband said a firm no, do your really expect me to finance your next fix with my hard earned money? Hubby then dropped him at taxi point.

When my hubby got home we spoke of how I can’t always help everyone and letting this man onto our property was a potentially dangerous thing. A desperate person could do desperate things. He spoke of how he gave this man a lecture too. When we compared notes we realised we both had a similar conversation with this man. Hubby didn’t know my conversation as he was putting our children to bed and keeping them away from the situation.

Both my hubby and I had the chance to minister to this man during the process. Who knows if this was the reason he landed up on our patio. Hopefully stern words from a stranger will shake him to his core and he would rather chose to change his circumstance and come back to reality. I don’t think either of us anticipated the outcome of his ‘visit’

 

Happy Anniversary To Us.

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Yesterday my hubby and I celebrated fourteen years as a married couple. No marriage is without it’s downs but we sure make sure the downs are worth the fights. We shared the most challenging year of our marriage last year and to say we survived it, will be an understatement. Yesterday hubby and spend a lovely day together, alone – shopping, then lunch, home to be with out boys and then out for a dinner date. I feel it is so important to show love and affection in front of our children. If we don’t show hugs, cuddles and silly dances together, how will they as boys to men, know how to romance, date or treat their future life partners.

They are boys so of course my eldest is always saying – eew yet my middle childs reaction being the opposite. Boy my big boys spoil me with little acts of love. My little one makes cards, picks flowers and recently started making us ‘coffee’ in bed. It’s hard to sip warm water overdosed with coffee granules but as parents we do so with a smile and absolute appreciation 🙂 How parenting repeats itself as I recall very well serving my mother tea in bed made from warm tap water and a teabag not given the chance to draw.

We sat on the sofa yesterday paging through our wedding album and the rather bad quality of photos taken. Funny how looking back you see guests who you are no longer in contact with, whos partners have since changed and even the uninvited guests who just pitched like they had a welcoming right – yes, we had some of those.

Part message from my man: ‘Happy anniversary my sexy babe. Fourteen great years that have had their ups and downs. We’ve both learnt perseverance which builds character and most importantly gives us hope, which has made our bond stronger, love you.’

Photo was taken while out for lunch yesterday 🙂

Our Baby, The Great Explorer.

Time sure flys ever so fast in the first year of a baby’s developments and reaching milestones. I’m still so much in awe at this little blessing roaming our home, leaving little footprints behind as I mop the kitchen floor everyday. My baby is less than a month away from that awesome #1. He is such a joy, always smiling and laughs ever so easily. As my hubby says while holding him, ‘God sure knew what he was doing when he blessed us with you’

We spoke of the possibility of hubby going over the pond alone for the first three months. Mainly as I would like the time with my sister in Knysna, our bond is a unique, special and strong one. Hubby was quick to tell me ‘NO WAY, I can’t be away from this little guy and big boys’ As a typical woman I replied with a fake pout, ‘Oh, and me ;)’ – ‘Of course you too’ he said with a comforting loving smile.

Personally, I love my hubby but I sure could do with some time in an all girl house, being all girly, doing all the things my sister and I use to do together when we lived in the same province. Home pamper parties, enjoying the whine with the wine, the laughter with the history, the musicals and cheesy dance moves with so much more.

Sigh, I have a silly, wonderland smile on my face thinking of those precious times.

Back to my littlest of sons – this age is the great explorer age. Everything goes into the mouth these days too and by everything – I seriously mean EVERYTHING. Our house has been childproofed except the pots and pans draw and the Tupperware cupboard, for these are the best ‘toys‘ any inquisitive little mind requires to satisfy more than any noisy, bright and colourful toy in the toy box has to offer. Oh and a cardboard box – the best thing since sliced bread for a boy toy. Below is the link for his recent munching down on the tyre of our car while out visiting friends. Nothing poisonous or detrimental to the health of an exploring baby. Keep in mind – he will do it once, know it’s yukky with the lesson learnt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_dGQwEcbDU&feature=plcp

Have a fantastic weekend 🙂